And I promise it was not your fault, it was never your fault

May 27, 2012

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I cry with you, believe me.

Let me give you the truth:

I was told that I would be hired in the afternoon of May 18, and I had to pass my requirements on May 19 so that it would be hand carried to Manila. Since the four of us had planned to get together on May 19, I slipped away from the group, saying I would be at St. Mary’s when I was actually on my way to the staff house to submit my requirements. after submitting, I would then go back to divisoria to you. unfortunately, they would not let me go. they brought me to ketkai and invited me for lunch, but since i had told them i would be meeting you, i told you i bumped into them after i went to the banks and they invited US for lunch.

so, we had lunch, and then we were told of the possibilities–that of the four of us, only two would get hired as staff. they mentioned names including mine, and so i thought it was understandable that i applied for the job without you knowing.

call me a liar, call me a traitor. but i did what i thought was right. i obeyed them when they told me to keep mum. and although a part of me wanted to tell you the recent developments, i chose to carry on the heavy feeling inside me for the past days and until the day comes that they would finally gather us all for the official announcement.

**

put yourself in my situation then maybe you’ll understand my silence. i am caught in between. i am a private individual but i also value honesty and trust. i wasn’t sure of the outcome of my application and of what would become of us but then i was also not able to share anything with anyone completely all because i vowed to keep it to myself.

it’s not easy to be me.

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